(Shut it, no they’re not dead rodents we glued to our faces either.) They’re stealth bombers made of hair! Their target? The devastation and loss caused by cancer. Look, these aren’t mustaches Charlie and I are wearing. This is CANCER! We need to put its ass into orbit.ĭonate to the cause! And if you don’t donate, at least SHARE THIS POST and help raise awareness. I know no one is going to call a foul on me. I figure that if I ever had to get into the ring with Mike Tyson, I wouldn’t hesitate to put rocks and explosive-tipped arrows in my boxing gloves. Obviously, it’s “cheating.” But, we’re fighting cancer here, people! And on top of it all, with the prostate, we’re not working with a very cuddly biological mascot. So just imagine they made an Old West version of the Cannonball Run. Our Facebookers voted that I should shave to a Burt Reynolds stache, but I got worried I’d screw it up. And I thought, how amazing would my stache be if I broke the rules and just let my beard go? See for yourself. Well, I knew I couldn’t make that drastic a change without making my 2yo, Lucas, run screaming from the barefaced freakshow I would’ve become to him. I Am a Movember Cheaterįor Movember, apparently you’re supposed to shave yourself bare on Nov 1st and then grow out a mustache through the month. So, it’s a bit of an uphill battle, you see, promoting the war on men’s cancer with a set of balls or a mysterious rectum-dwelling organ on your flag. Now, on the men’s side, the chosen spokes-body-part for men’s cancer? The majestic prostate! An obscure body part that can only be accessed through a man’s butthole. No mom has ever had to cover their kid’s eyes in a movie theater because of a gratuitous ovary shot, and you’re not going to find a bunch of marble statuary of overies laying around the older parts of Europe either. Much better than ovaries, which don’t have the same appeal. Say what you will, boobs are a symbol of beauty and motherhood. So, on the women’s side of the fence you’ve got breasts as the symbol of women’s cancer awareness. And fighting cancer is all about raising awareness and funds for research and treatment. Trending, Fandom of mens, womens t-shirt, long Sleeve, hoodie, sweatshirt and plus size. Then your dad grew one, and suddenly the mustache was nothing more than Old Milwaukee and cheese curds. It’s only because of the unique… “equipment” each gender has that there’s even such a thing as men’s and women’s cancers. Add to that a couple of creeps and a few pornstars, and well, you know the rest. Read on and you’ll actually agree with me.Ĭancer is really gender-blind. Pornstache has proven himself to have a very. Men’s Cancer Is Harder to Fight Than Women’sĭid I just write that out loud? Yes, yes I did. After finding out Dayas daughter hadnt died at birth, Pornstache proves himself a doting father to Armaria. I’ve been constantly surprised by how many people actually know about Movember and why I decided to grow this weak welcome mat on my face. My father, his mustache & his 5x too tight shorts.ĭiving into the deep end of facial hair in the name of cancer has been both heartwarming and heart wrenching. If you have have lost someone (like I lost my dad) or know someone who has cancer, please do us a favor and help kick cancer in the nuts - Go to our Movember Page! We have only three days left on this thing. I’d see guys on the street and they’d hold up their hand for a high-five. But I came to realize, as the weeks went by, that my lack of immediate lip sweater growth became a secret handshake. I was self-conscious about my face fuzz prowess. I’m sure there are 15 year old girls in China with more hair on their bodies than I do. My skin was soft for days.īut that was a problem. I went to my local “Art of Shaving” joint and they took my face to task, like a logger on amphetamines, tearing down every follicle I’d had with sweet aromatherapy oils. I forsook all the hard work I’d done growing a crappy Keanu beard. The orders were clear: shave your face on November 1st and grow that stache all month. And people always seem on the verge of asking me a burning question…Ĭreepy guy or hipster: is there a thinner line? No. My son dry heaves upon seeing my upper lip.
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